The Evil Undead
by Randy S
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than he ever wanted to know.
1. Prologue

Title: The Evil Undead (prologue/?)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
"You sure you don't mind driving me around tonight, Xander?" Buffy   
asked from the passenger seat.  
  
"It's no prob, Buffster. I figure as long as Uncle Rory's letting   
me borrow his car, I might as well use it to fight the forces of   
evil."  
  
"Thanks." Buffy paused. "You seem awfully chipper today."  
  
"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. You know, in the last year I've been   
through a lot. Had some close calls, seen some disturbing things-   
not to mention having to deal with some overarching evil plan."  
  
"And that's just with your ex-girlfriend."  
  
"Yeah." Xander rolled his eyes. "So anyways, I just woke up today   
feeling like I've turned a corner and things are really looking up."  
  
"So you're finally going to get your grades up over a C?"  
  
"Well, probably not."  
  
"Maybe you'll stop being a punching bag for vampires?"  
  
"No, doesn't look that way."  
  
"Well, I'm sure something will go your way."  
  
"Yeah. Something." Xander looked around at their surroundings.   
"Say, could you check the map that Giles gave us. I think we're   
almost there."  
  
"Sure, where is it?"  
  
"In the glove compartment."  
  
Buffy opened the glove compartment, and couldn't suppress a yelp as   
a heavy metal object fell out onto her lap. After picking it up and   
taking a better look at it Buffy could see that it looked like some   
kind of medieval gauntlet- except that instead of having an opening   
for a hand it had been filled in and had a wooden stump protruding   
from the wrist.  
  
"What on earth is this, Xand?"  
  
Xander glanced over.  
  
"Oh, that. That's one of Uncle Rory's projects. Those lines around   
the outside of the hand are actually part of a hydraulic system you   
can use to open and close the gauntlet."  
  
Buffy looked closer at the gauntlet. "Neat. So your uncle's a bit   
of a handyman?"  
  
"You could say that. He lost his right hand years ago in some kind   
of chainsaw related accident. Ever since he's been building things   
to use with the stump of his right arm."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. He's a pretty good sport about it. He used to let me   
play with his prosthetics when I was younger. I had some good times   
chasing Willow around with that very gauntlet."  
  
Xander suddenly stopped the car.  
  
"I think this is the side street. Buffy, did you find that map?"  
  
"Here it is." Buffy retrieved the map from the glove compartment.   
"Yep, this is the place. The cabin Giles wanted us to check out   
is about two miles up this road."  
  
"Well, here we go." Xander commented as he turned the car on to the   
dirt road. "Though you'd think enough people disappear in Sunnydale   
that Giles wouldn't send us all the way out here in the woods to   
check on some missing college students."  
  
***  
  
Muhahaha. This just popped into my head today. It's something I'll   
write while I'm working on the next bit of _From Sunnydale, With   
Love_.  
  
Note: Followup to Year One is coming, but I need to work out some   
bits in my head first.  
  
--Randy 


	2. Chapter 1

Title: The Evil Undead (One/?)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
"Here we are." Xander pulled to a stop outside of a picturesque log   
cabin. "401 Nowhere Lane."  
  
"Cool. Let's take a look inside."   
  
Buffy hopped out of the car and walked to the front door. Xander   
grabbed the polaroid camera off the back seat and followed her. He   
was standing directly in front of the door when Buffy threw it open   
to reveal a horrific scene.  
  
Xander took one look inside and immediately ran about ten feet away   
and doubled over, vomiting. Buffy looked in, paled and took a   
couple of steps backwards. She was still contemplating the scene   
inside when Xander managed to compose himself and return to her side.  
  
The door opened on to the single main room of the cabin. That room   
looked like the inside of a slaughterhouse. Blood was everywhere-   
on the furniture, on the walls, pooling on the floor. Miscellaneous   
body parts were scattered around the room like some kind of gruesome   
confetti.  
  
"God, Buff, what could do something like this?"  
  
"Not vampires. They wouldn't let all the blood go to waste."  
  
"Thanks, this image wasn't disturbing enough before."  
  
"I'm just saying." Buffy shrugged. "Come on, let's see if we can   
find anything inside."  
  
Xander followed her in, stepping carefully around the larger pools   
of blood on the floor. While Buffy explored ahead of him, Xander   
readied his camera and started taking pictures of the carnage in the   
main room.  
  
When he turned around to get a picture from another angle, something   
caught his eye.  
  
"Hey Buffy, take a look at this."  
  
On the same wall as the front door, there was a message scrawled in   
what looked like human blood.  
  
WE ARE GOING TO SWALLOW YOUR SOULS!!  
  
"Demons have the strangest taste in interior decoration."   
  
Buffy commented when she saw the writing. Xander managed a weak   
grin in response.  
  
While Xander took some pictures of the writing on the wall, Buffy   
walked into the only other room in the cabin, the bedroom.  
  
The door to the room looked like it had been torn off its hinges.   
As Buffy walked through the doorway, she could see evidence of other   
barricades that had been placed in front of the door and had been   
destroyed.  
  
Leaning up against the bed was the only recognizably human corpse in   
the cabin. It looked like it had been an average looking man in his   
mid forties. Buffy didn't need any of her Slayer expertise to   
determine the cause of death. The man's partially shredded shirt   
could not hide the fact that most of his ribs had been caved in.  
  
The body was still clutching a strange looking book in its left   
hand. Its right hand held a small portable tape recorder. A large,   
blood stained axe sat on the floor at its feet.  
  
Buffy pried the tape recorder out of the corpse's hand and, out of   
curiousity, rewound the tape a little ways and hit play.  
  
"-the last of them. It looks like the spell worked." The voice on   
the tape sounded weak and breathless. "They already got Norma and   
the kids, there's nothing for me to live for now. Not that that's   
an option, anyways."  
  
There was a pause, as the voice seemed to be trying to work up the   
strength to talk.  
  
"I hope that anybody listening to this tape can avoide my fate. I   
thought I was above the consequences of my actions. Please, don't   
try to use the Nec- the Necro... the..."  
  
There was a thump, then silence.  
  
---  
  
Xander pulled to a stop outside Buffy's house.  
  
"You have everything?"  
  
"Let's see. One very strange looking book. Check. A collection of   
tapes from a dead man, labeled 'Notes and Observations', check."  
  
"Don't forget some seriously disturbing photographs."  
  
Xander handed the stack of Polaroids over to Buffy. Neither one of   
them noticed that one of the pictures displaying the message on the   
wall slipped from the stack and fell in the space between the   
passenger seat and the door.  
  
"I think that's all. Thanks again for the ride."  
  
"No problem. I'll be a little late to our after school Scooby   
meeting- I have to take the car over to Uncle Rory's after   
school."  
  
"I thought he was letting you borrow it for a while?"  
  
"Yeah, but he insists that he's the only one that takes proper care   
of his baby. He likes to give it a check up once a month."  
  
"How very obsessive of him."  
  
"Yeah, he's a real character."  
  
---  
  
Rory Williams arrived home from the driving range feeling pretty   
good about life. Twenty years of investing in the S-Mart employee   
stock purchase program meant that he had been free of the daily   
rat race for a while now. He'd even had enough money to move away   
from Grand Rapids and settle down in the same California town as   
his sister.  
  
Times had changed, he thought as he walked into his home. Hell,   
he had changed. He took a look at himself in the mirror. He was   
still pretty solidly built- maybe carrying a few more pounds than   
he used to, but nothing major. Some streaks of grey running through   
his black hair lent him some dignity, he thought. And of course, he   
still had the chin. The main thing that had changed about him were   
his daily activities.  
  
Most of his days were pretty uneventful, now. He worked on his   
cars, or on his golf game. He may have had to move across the   
country and change his name, but he had finally managed to escape   
the demons that had haunted his youth.  
  
Rory shook his head as he walked out to the garage. Looking back   
on it, he wasn't sure how he had managed to survive all of the events   
of his life. He still kept the shotgun and his chainsaw attachment   
on the wall of his garage. He even had the old medieval gauntlet   
around somewhere. Not that any of them saw much use any more.   
  
Nowadays, he thought to himself as he attached the dustbuster to his   
arm, he was more likely to use a more practical prosthetic.  
  
Rory was whistling a happy tune to himself as he vacuumed out the   
Bel Air that he was renting out to his nephew. Xander was a good   
kid, but Rory remembered too well what he had been like as a   
teenager to abandon the Chevy to Xander's tender care.  
  
Rory's whistling was abruptly cut off when he opened the passenger   
side door and a photograph fluttered down to the ground.  
  
"Hello, what have we here?" The expression on Rory's face   
transformed from curiousity to rage as he got a good look at the   
picture's contents. "Damn it, not again! Not here!"  
  
Rory ran inside and picked up the phone. He cradled it in his   
shoulder as he dialed a number with his remaining hand.  
  
"Hi, Jessica, it's me. Is Xander home? Do you know where he would   
be at this time of night? The school library? OK, thanks."  
  
---  
  
Joyce Summers looked at the clock. It was six, and Buffy and Dawn   
still weren't home. Joyce's temper was heating up as the dinner   
sitting on the table was cooling off. It was bad enough that Buffy   
was out at all hours of the night thanks to her Slaying duties, but   
now Dawn was trying to latch on to her sister in order to avoid her   
curfew.  
  
Buffy didn't even feel the need to call home any more when she was   
going to be staying late. Joyce had just about had it with all of   
this unpredictability. She decided that today she was going to   
drive out to the school and give Buffy and her Watcher a piece of   
her mind.  
  
---  
  
Andrew nervously looked at the clock. Most of the kids still in   
detention at six o'clock at night were real hard cases. He was only   
there because the school had a strict 'zero tolerance' policy   
regarding computer crimes.  
  
Andrew looked around the room. He stood out as clearly the weakest   
student among the ten or so still there. He didn't relish the   
thought of making his way home with this crowd in a half hour.  
  
---  
  
"So, Giles, what wisdom do you have to bestow upon us this evening?"  
Xander asked the librarian as he entered the library from his   
office.  
  
"I just finished speaking with some of my more obscure associates.   
They have confirmed my belief that what we have in our possession is   
the Necronomicon."  
  
"The what now?"  
  
"The Necronomicon. The Book of the Dead. According to the   
Watcher's Council it's little more than an old wives' tale. Legend   
has it that it is bound in human flesh and inked in human blood."  
  
Willow, who had been tracing her finger along the outside of the  
book, drew her finger back as if burned. Dawn looked at Willow in   
sympathy as she shuddered and snuggled deeper into Oz's embrace   
while Giles continued.  
  
"Written primarily in ancient Sumerian, the Necronomicon contains   
spells that allow the caster to, among other things, raise the   
spirits of the dead."  
  
"I take it we're not talking Casper the friendly ghost here."  
  
"I'm afraid not. The spirits tend to be quite violent."  
  
"So can we slay them, or what?" Buffy was all business.  
  
"I believe so. The spirits take the form of animated bodies, or   
deadites."  
  
"Deadites?" Angel spoke from the corner of the room. "I've heard   
of those."  
  
"Do you recall anything useful?" Giles asked. "My sources give   
little more than the term."  
  
"I don't remember much. The vampire that I heard it from was pretty   
nuts. The only thing I know is that if deadites are in town, you   
don't want to be there."  
  
"Yes, well, the pictures from the cabin attest to that. Now, I am   
going to listen to the audio tapes that we have to try to find out   
exactly what happened out there. I have identified these books-"   
Giles gestured to a stack of books on the library table. "- as   
possibly having information regarding the Necronomicon. If you   
would like to make yourselves useful?"  
  
Everybody reluctantly agreed to start reading, and had soon divided   
up the pile of books between them.  
  
Some time later Xander was making a half hearted effort to read   
through his assigned reference book while he listened to the tape   
Giles was playing.  
  
"...at last, my translation of the ritual is complete. I have   
checked and re-checked my..."  
  
At that moment the general silence in the library was broken with a   
crash as the doors were kicked open. Silhouetted in the doorway was   
an imposing figure of a man. His right arm appeared to end in a   
chainsaw, while Xander could see the butt of what looked like a   
shotgun strapped across his back. He also had a spare chainsaw   
attached to his left hip.  
  
"Where the hell is Xander Harris?"  
  
Buffy, who had instinctively interposed herself between the stranger   
and her friends, replied.  
  
"If you want Xander, you're going to have to get through me first."  
  
"...and everything is in order. I will now light the ceremonial   
candles..." The tape continued to run in the background.  
  
"Step aside girly, I need to talk to my nephew."  
  
"Girly? Did you just call me girly?"  
  
Rory ignored the death glare that Buffy was now directing his way as   
he spotted Xander sitting behind her. Rory pulled the photo out of   
his pocket and tossed it over to Xander.  
  
"You want to tell me where you got this, Xander?"  
  
"Um, there's a perfectly good explanation for all this..."  
  
"...well, the only thing to do now is recite the incantation. Here   
goes. Sha lo nab..."  
  
"You see, it was for a school play-" Xander's equivocations were   
interrupted by a shout from his uncle.  
  
"The tape! Stop the tape!"  
  
"...no reb ka pal..."  
  
Everyone in the library stared at Rory as if he were crazy.  
  
"You have to turn off the tape! Don't you understand?"  
  
"...Ko rek mal! Ko rek mal! Ko rek mal!"  
  
With this final invocation, the Necronomicon began to shudder like a   
live animal. It rose, still shaking, to hover in the air above the   
table. Ghostly streamers began to emanate from the book's cover and   
circle around it. When the book was almost hidden from view by a   
globe of these streamers, they suddenly exploded in all directions,   
disappearing from sight.  
  
The book then fell to the table with a thud. As it hit the table,   
everybody in the library could hear the sound of all the doors   
leading out of the school slamming shut.  
  
Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence, staring at the   
Necronomicon. It was Xander's uncle who spoke first.  
  
"Crap."  
  
***  
  
The plot thickens...  
  
Oh, and remember, you took the time to read, you can take the time   
to write some feedback.  
  
--Randy 


	3. Chapter 2

Title: The Evil Undead (Two/?)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
Everyone's eyes turned from the Necronomicon to watch Xander's Uncle   
Rory as he walked over to the library table. The tape recorder,   
which had been all but forgotten due to the Necronomicon's light   
show, was now emitting a non stop chorus of screams. When Rory   
reached the table, he calmly picked up the tape recorder and pressed   
the stop button.  
  
"We are so screwed."  
  
"No offense, Uncle Rory, but we've dealt with this kind of thing   
before."  
  
"Oh really? How many times have you had to carve up your girlfriend   
with a chainsaw? How many times have you been sent back in time to   
fight an army of the undead? How many times have you had to kill   
your evil twin?"  
  
"Just the one time." Willow piped up.  
  
"And as terrifying as your evil twin must have been," Rory looked   
at the tiny redhead, "you people still have no conception of what-"  
  
His tirade was interrupted as another visitor crashed into the   
library. The body looked like it might once have belonged to a   
student at Sunnydale High, but it had been twisted and deformed by   
the evil that now inhabited it.  
  
"Souls! There are fresh souls in the library!"  
  
Buffy again reacted instinctively, placing herself between her   
friends and the intruder. The deadite attacked her, and after a   
short scuffle she was able to catch the creature under the chin with   
a solid uppercut that launched it back a few feet. The deadite lay   
on the ground, unmoving.  
  
Buffy turned back to face her friends. "These guys aren't so   
tough."  
  
"It's a trick!" Rory called out, then turned to Giles. "Get an   
axe."  
  
Giles retrieved a wicked looking battle axe from the weapons locker   
as Buffy turned to hold off the now resurgent deadite. Giles waited   
for a lull in the fight and tossed the weapon to Buffy.  
  
She caught the weapon smoothly and quickly went on the offensive. A   
short time later, she managed to lop off the creature's head. The   
body of the deadite kept fighting, briefly forcing her on the   
defensive.  
  
After she blocked the next few attacks, Buffy caught the deadite   
overextending with a punch and managed to chop off its right   
arm. With a limb missing the creature was at a serious disadvantage   
and was soon reduced to a quivering pile of body parts.  
  
It was an impressive display of fighting. Rory leaned over to speak   
into Xander's ear.  
  
"Does she always kick that much ass?"  
  
"Yeah, it's pretty much her thing."  
  
"Groovy."  
  
Buffy stepped back and returned to the group after making sure that   
the pile of deadite parts was unable to harm anybody.  
  
"So that's a deadite."  
  
"Yes." Giles said. "As you saw, the only effective way to destroy   
them is complete dismemberment. Unless you have something to add,   
Mr..."  
  
Giles turned to face Xander's uncle.  
  
"Williams. And no, that's about it. Chop them up until there's   
nothing left to chop. Also, you can control them with the book,   
somehow."  
  
"Of course." Giles was excited by the idea. "The book summoned   
them- we should be able to use the book to send them back. We could   
stop them before they have a chance to take over the town- or worse,   
open the Hellmouth."  
  
"Yeah, good luck with that." Rory turned and walked towards the   
door.  
  
"Uncle Rory, wait!" Rory paused. "Aren't you going to stay and-"  
  
"Play bodyguard for a bunch of high schoolers and their librarian   
while they muck around with the Necronomicon? Not likely. I'm   
getting the hell out of here before things get worse. You coming   
with me Xander?"  
  
Xander looked at his uncle, then back to his friends. There was   
only one decision he could make.  
  
"No. I can't leave my friends here."  
  
"You've got a good heart, kid." Rory sighed. "I just hope the   
deadites don't tear it out and shove it down your throat."  
  
"Um, thanks Uncle Rory."  
  
Xander's uncle continued walking. When he reached to door leading   
out of the library he turned around. He paused for a moment as he   
appeared to be waging some kind of internal struggle.  
  
"Since we're already mixed up in all this, you might as well know   
that Rory isn't my real name. It's Ashley. You can call me Ash."   
Ash reached for the chainsaw on his belt. "Here, you'll need this."  
  
With that, Ash tossed the chainsaw across the room to Xander.   
Xander caught the saw and looked up, meaning to say something to his   
uncle. But the only remaining trace of Ash's presence was the   
swinging of the library door.  
  
"Well, we're down one Neanderthal, but we can handle this." Buffy   
took charge of the room. "Willow, you and Oz help Giles research   
how to get rid of the deadites. Angel and I will guard the door.   
Xander, you can put that chainsaw to good use backing us up. We   
knock 'em down, you carve 'em up. Simple."  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
The Scoobies swung around to stare at this new voice. None of them   
had noticed when Dawn had sneaked out to the library door and taken   
a peek outside while her sister was giving orders. Now she was   
standing in the doorway glaring at them all. Her eyes were glowing   
an unearthly shade of green, while her hair was floating out behind   
her as if an electric current was running through it.  
  
"Everthing's so simple, isn't it Buffy? You make the plans, you   
fight the evil things, you always take center stage. And your   
little sister sits on the sidelines." Dawn walked towards them as   
she spoke. "Not this time. This time Dawn's hitting the big time.   
This time Dawn's playing with her sister's toys. And I know just   
where to start, too."  
  
Dawn suddenly whirled around and grabbed Angel by the waist before   
engaging him in a french kiss. Angel was too surprised by the   
strength and speed that Dawn displayed to react before it was too   
late.  
  
The watching Scoobies saw some kind of blue glow pass from Angel to   
Dawn before she pulled herself away, smacking her lips.  
  
"Tasty." Dawn commented, grinning at Angel.  
  
Angel responded with a similar grin before walking over to the   
table, slugging Giles in the jaw, and picking up the Necronomicon.  
  
"Angel!" Buffy's voice cracked. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Angel?" He sneered. "Guess again, lover."  
  
He stretched, arching his back, and favored the group with a chilling   
grin before he spoke again.  
  
"It does feel good to be back. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've   
got a little light reading to catch up on. I'll be seeing you."  
  
With that he took Dawn by the hand and walked out of the library.  
  
---  
  
Joyce Summers was having a bad evening. First, when she had entered   
the school the door had slammed shut behind her and resisted all of   
her efforts to force it open. Then, the path that would normally   
take her to the library had instead dropped her into a labyrinth of   
hallways. And now she was being chased by some kind of demonic   
being that was intent on consuming her soul.  
  
When she saw the figure ahead of her in the hallway, at first she   
thought it was another demon. As she drew closer, she could see   
that his features were those of a normal human- except for the   
unusually large chin and the chainsaw where his right hand should   
be. But his voice, when he spoke, was definitely human.  
  
"Hit the deck!"  
  
Joyce didn't need any further encouragement and quickly hit the   
floor as the stranger drew a shotgun from behind his back. She   
heard the roar of shotgun fire passing over her head and turned to   
look behind her. She discovered that there had actually been two   
demons chasing her, and that while they had been knocked down by   
the shotgun fire, they were quickly rising to her feet.  
  
Joyce heard the distinctive sound of a chainsaw being revved up as   
her savior strode past her to confront the demons at close range.   
  
The fight that followed was not something that Joyce would ever   
refer to as a 'ballet of death'. She would be more likely to call   
it a 'slam dance of death'. While no one would mistake Ash for a   
trained martial artist, he was quite adept at holding off the   
attacks of one of the deadites while he carved off bits of the other   
deadite with his chainsaw.  
  
The demons were soon reduced to harmless chunks of flesh, and Ash   
walked back over to the woman that he had saved.  
  
Ash was not exactly the kind of person that Joyce thought of as her   
type. She usually dated men who were more refined- cultured men who   
appreciated the work she did at the gallery and who possessed a   
quick wit or artistic insight. She certainly wasn't attracted to men   
with almost comically oversized chins. And yet, something about the  
man in front of her attracted her on an almost primal level.  
  
Maybe it was the work shirt he was wearing, torn just enough to   
reveal a well muscled chest. Maybe it was the sweat glistening on   
his brow, or the way masculinity seemed to ooze from his every pore.   
Or maybe it was the way that he had reduced her attackers to so much   
bloody confetti. Whatever it was, Joyce found herself instinctively   
leaning towards him, mouth slightly open and ready to receive a   
kiss. Then he spoke.  
  
"Give me some sugar, baby."  
  
Joyce snapped out of it and shoved Ash away from her. "Back off,   
you pig."  
  
"Hey, I save your life and this is how you thank me? You're   
welcome. What the hell are you doing in this place anyways?" Ash   
was a little ticked off.  
  
"I'm looking for my daughter."  
  
"Your daughter? I guess the deadites stole your wedding ring?"  
  
"Not that it's any of your business, but my ex-husband took care of   
that for them." Joyce's eyes flashed with irritation. "Now if   
you'll excuse me..."  
  
Something clicked in Ash's head as she turned away in a huff. "Wait   
a minute- your daughter, is she about five foot nothing with blonde   
hair?"  
  
"That's Buffy."  
  
"Buffy?" Ash laughed, then quickly shut up under Joyce's glare.   
"She's in the library."  
  
"Thank you." With that, Joyce turned to walk off down the hallway.  
  
"Wait a minute, lady! You can't just walk around in here by   
yourself. They'll kill you."  
  
"Well, I certainly can't leave my daughter by herself. I'll just   
have to take my chances."  
  
As Ash watched Joyce walk off, a battle was being waged in his head.   
A battle between his survival instinct and his libido. In the end,   
there was only one way it could go.  
  
"Hey! Wait up. I'll go with you."  
  
Joyce didn't say anything as Ash ran to catch up with her. He was   
slightly out of breath when he reached her side.  
  
"Geez, what is it with the women in your family?"  
  
"Buffy's the vampire slayer." Joyce smiled. "I'm just an   
independent woman."  
  
"Great." Ash shook his head. "Hold on- vampire slayer?"  
  
***  
  
If chins could kill...  
  
Thanks everybody for your feedback on the first couple parts. Makes   
the writing a lot easier.  
  
--Randy 


	4. Chapter 3

Title: The Evil Undead (Three/Seven)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
A hush fell over the library as soon as Angelus and Dawn left the   
library. Buffy sat, shell shocked, staring at the library door.   
Willow and Oz shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say.   
  
Xander took this situation in and walked over to speak softly to   
Giles.  
  
"Maybe you better give Wesley a call. It looks like we could use   
some backup on this."  
  
Giles nodded at Xander and retreated into his office to make the   
call. He returned a moment later.  
  
"I'm afraid that the phone lines are down."  
  
Giles's announcement roused Buffy from her reverie.  
  
"What are we going to do Giles? What happened to Dawn? And can   
we get Angel back?"  
  
"I have kept a copy of the curse and an Orb of Thessula in my office   
for the last few months as insurance against just such an occasion   
as this. However, I don't know how we can free Dawn. I've told you   
all that I know about deadites, and it isn't much. Unless..."   
Giles paused. "Xander, what did your uncle say is his real name?"  
  
"Umm... Ash?"  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
Giles walked over to a rarely visited portion of the library and   
removed a book labeled 'Fantastick Tailes' from the shelf.  
  
"Most reasonable authorities consider this a work of pure fiction.   
However..."  
  
Giles flipped through the book until he found the page he was   
looking for, and held it out for Xander to read aloud.  
  
"And the demon sayeth unto him: 'You've spoiled my plans for   
conquest, and now you're going to die.'  
  
"And the Lord Ashe spake thusly: 'Buckle up bonehead, 'cause you're   
going for a ride!'"  
  
Xander looked up from his reading. "That does sound like Uncle   
Rory."  
  
"Yes. And if this information is accurate, the other information in   
the book regarding the Necronomicon may be accurate as well."  
  
Giles explained as he eagerly began reading through the book.  
  
"Ah, this might explain what managed to possess Dawn. It says... oh   
dear."  
  
"What do you mean, 'oh dear'? What happened to my sister, Giles?"   
Buffy was getting agitated.  
  
"It appears that Dawn has been taken over by one of the   
Throquamatuurz, or Soul Devourers. It appears that as in the case   
of vampiric possession, the only way to destroy the evil spirit is   
to destroy the mortal shell."  
  
"You're telling me there's no way to save Dawn?" Buffy's voice   
cracked.  
  
"I'm afraid not, Buffy. Dawn as we knew her is already dead. It's   
as if she had been turned into a vampire. The spirit will have   
assimilated her memories and will be able to mimic her personality,   
but Dawn is gone.  
  
"And that isn't the worst news. It appears that the demon which has   
possessed your sister belongs to a larger class of servant demons.   
Now that it is free, it will bend its mind to one task: summoning   
forth the Buurzgoth- the Shadow King and Queen."  
  
"That would be bad?"  
  
"Quite apocalyptic, actually."  
  
"Well then, damn it, we're not going down without a fight." Buffy's   
voice strengthened with resolve. "I'm not going to let some demon   
use my sister's body to take over the world."  
  
---  
  
Joyce struggled against the deadite in front of her. Four of them   
had attacked her and Ash as they made their way down the hallway.   
Ash had managed to engage three of them, but the fourth had made it   
past him to attack Joyce.  
  
She probably would have been dead by now, but the creature seemed   
more intent on tearing off her clothes than killing her. It had   
already managed to tear off the bottom half of her skirt, and it was   
only Joyce's grip on its throat that kept its face away from her.   
As it was, Joyce could smell the fetid breath of the walking corpse   
as it forced its way closer to her with inhuman strength.  
  
Suddenly the pressure on Joyce's arms was diminished as a chainsaw   
appeared in the middle of the creature's torso. Ash quickly ripped   
the chainsaw up through the deadite, splitting its upper body in   
half and spraying blood everywhere. The deadite fell to the ground,   
and Ash bent over and sliced it into harmless pieces before checking   
on Joyce.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"Yeah." Joyce looked down. "Which is more than I can say for this   
shirt. This was one of my favorite shirts, too."  
  
Ash sighed. "Here."  
  
He reached around and pulled a machete out from the holster at the   
small of his back. After pausing to admire the giant blade, he   
handed it over to Joyce.  
  
"Your targets are the throat, the eyes, and the groin. You're not   
going to be able to kill these things, but at least you can hold   
them off-"  
  
"Until a big, strong man can come to save me? Great." Joyce   
snapped, then turned to walk up the hallway. "Let's go find my   
daughter."  
  
---  
  
Buffy looked around her with some satisfaction. The gang was geared   
up and ready to go hunting for deadites. She and Giles were   
carrying swords, while Oz was carrying a crossbow. Xander was   
armed with the slightly less conventional chainsaw, but he seemed   
comfortable with it. Willow was toting the components for the soul   
restoration spell.  
  
Buffy was about to lead the group out of the library when a thought   
occurred to her.  
  
"Hey Giles, are these things vulnerable to fire the way vampires   
are?"  
  
"I believe so, yes."  
  
"Willow." Buffy turned to face the witch. "Do you have any   
spells..."  
  
"Better than that." Willow's face lit up. "I can't believe I   
forgot them."  
  
Willow set her gear down and ran over to an anonymous looking cubby.   
She unlocked it with one of the keys on her key chain and withdrew   
an anonymous looking box, which she carried over to the library   
table. The rest of the gang gathered around as she opened the lid   
of the box, revealing an odd looking arsenal.  
  
The box was filled with water balloons, each of which had a small   
piece of cardboard attached to the nose and cardboard fins fastened   
to its tail.  
  
"I came up with these over the summer." Willow said proudly. "The   
balloons are filled with jellied gasoline-"  
  
"Napalm?" Xander asked, shocked.  
  
"Yeah." Willow explained. "If you used liquid gasoline most of it   
would spatter around at random instead of sticking to your target.   
Now-"  
  
"No, I mean, where did you get ahold of napalm?"  
  
"Oh, like it's *so* hard to make. I did take Honors Chemistry, you   
know." Willow looked at him, then back down at her inventions.   
"Now, as I was saying, the balloon is filled with jellied gasoline.   
The fins are to help it fly true, and keep the front oriented right.   
This little cardboard pad covers up a contact fuse consisting of a   
watch battery and some black powder that I mixed up. You hit the   
vampire, and boom. Flambe."  
  
"Impressive." Oz commented while making a mental note to never,   
ever get Willow angry at him.  
  
"Yes, and we'll have to have a discussion about storing explosives   
in my library some other time." Giles said. "Right now, we have   
to find Dawn before she can summon the Shadow Lords."  
  
Oz abandoned his crossbow in favor of carrying the box of firebombs,   
and the group finally made their way out the door. Buffy and Xander   
took the lead, with Oz and Willow following close behind them.   
Giles brought up the rear.  
  
They had not traveled far from the library when they heard the now   
familiar cry.  
  
"We're going to eat your souls!"  
  
Buffy brought her sword up to a ready position as she sized up the   
group of deadites ahead of them. Beside her, Xander revved his   
chainsaw.  
  
"Come get some."  
  
---  
  
When Ash saw the figure running toward them, his first thought was   
that it was another deadite. Then he realized that the figure had   
the look of somebody running away from something, rather than   
running at somebody.  
  
As the boy got closer, Ash could see that the scrawny youth wouldn't   
present much of a threat to anybody even if he were possessed by   
some kind of evil spirit. The creature giving chase to him looked   
considerably more dangerous. Judging from the letterman's jacket   
that it was wearing, the creature had once been part of Sunnydale   
High's football team. Now, however, he was just another deadite.  
  
"We're going to- aargh."  
  
Ash interrupted the deadite's war cry through the simple expedient   
of jamming the chainsaw blade into its mouth. The creature's head   
exploded satisfyingly in all directions, and Ash made quick work of   
the rest of the body. Joyce even got in a few good shots with her   
machete. When they finished, they turned their attention to the   
boy.  
  
"Thanks... Miss Summers?"   
  
Joyce didn't look like the soccer mom that Andrew remembered. Her   
clothing was tattered in many places, and covered in gore where it   
was left intact. Also, the bloody machete in her hand definitely   
gave her a different look. She also had a distinctly predatory   
gleam in her eye that was a little unnerving.  
  
"Do I know you?"  
  
"I'm Andrew." He paused. "Tucker's cousin?"  
  
"Oh," Joyce thought back. "I think I remember him. What are you   
doing here?"  
  
"I was in detention, when everybody started... changing. I could   
hear voices. They said I was too week to be good for anything-   
just that I would be fun to chase."  
  
Andrew hung his head. This time it was Ash who spoke.  
  
"Um... kid, how many people were in detention with you?"  
  
Andrew thought back. "About ten or fifteen, I think. Only six of   
them were chasing me, though. And I lost most of them."  
  
Ash squinted down the hallway. "Think again, kid."  
  
The five figures pelting down the hall stopped in their tracks as   
Ash let out a primal roar.  
  
As he finished with the wordless scream, Ash drew his shotgun from   
behind his back and advanced on the deadites.  
  
"OK, I've had it up to here with you sons of bitches." Ash took   
aim. "Why. are. you. ruining. my. life?"   
  
He punctuated each word with a blast from the shotgun. Soon only   
two deadites were left standing, as the others groaned from the   
floor and tried to get themselves together.  
  
"Who wants some? Come on, who wants some? You?" Ash took a swipe   
at the deadite on his left, cutting off its right arm. "You like   
that? I think he wants some more, don't you?"  
  
He addressed this comment to the deadite on his right as he lopped   
his companion's left hand off at the wrist.  
  
"I'm sorry, you're feeling left out, aren't you?" The intact   
deadite flinched back at Ash's words, then attempted to launch a   
surprise attack. Ash sidestepped the creature's charge, dragging   
the chainsaw across its torso as he did so. The deadite's legs   
continued to charge for a few steps while its torso fell to the   
floor next to Ash.   
  
Ash kicked the other deadite back while he reloaded the shotgun.   
Once that was done, he blasted the standing deadite to the floor   
and turned his attention to dismembering its fallen comrades.  
  
Once that was done, Ash returned to his companions. Andrew was   
standing slightly behind Joyce as if for protection. They both   
looked slightly disturbed by his actions.  
  
"You know, I actually feel much better now."  
  
---  
  
Buffy was losing count of the number of deadites that they had   
destroyed. Xander was wading through the walking dead with a   
frightening efficiency that almost matched her own, while Oz was   
proving a dead shot with the fire balloons. Giles was following   
them and making sure that any downed demons were completely   
dismembered.  
  
The amount of deadites that they encountered had been steadily   
increasing, which Buffy took to mean that they were approaching   
Dawn's location. Suddenly they passed through a doorway and found   
themselves in a large open room- the cafeteria.  
  
The room was filled with deadites. Some of them were in a much   
worse state of repair than the ones that had been attacking them   
earlier- Buffy wondered just how many bodies had been buried under   
Sunnydale High, and for how long.  
  
Across the room from them Buffy could see the figures of Dawn and   
Angelus. Her heart leaped when she saw her former nemesis and   
remembered the torture that he had put her through last year. This   
time would be different, she resolved to herself. This time they   
would restore his soul before he could hurt anybody.  
  
"Giles, Xander, get up here and form a perimeter." Buffy called   
out. "Willow, get Angel his soul back!"  
  
The others moved to follow her orders, while at the same time the   
deadites took Buffy's words as a signal to attack.  
  
Buffy decapitated the first deadite to approach her, then quickly   
sliced off its legs while ducking an attack from the second deadite   
through. She speared that one with her sword, then ripped it down   
through the deadite's body, removing the deadite's support. As it   
fell to the floor, Buffy risked a quick look around.  
  
She saw Xander finish bringing his chainsaw through the body of the   
deadite in front of him, while another was about to attack him from   
the side. Buffy was about to move to his aid when she saw a balloon   
fly over his head and strike the deadite square in the chest.   
  
There was a whooshing noise as the balloon exploded and fire spread   
over the deadite's chest. It was unable to put the fire out, and in   
fact when it tried to beat the fire out with its arms, the flaming   
napalm stuck to its arms. As the creature blundered around in a   
panic, it actually managed to set some of its companions ablaze.  
  
Buffy was unable to watch the ensuing hilarity, however, as she had   
to deal with the next deadite trying to kill her. Through the press   
of the assault, she could sense the Willow's progress. A heaviness   
seemed to pervade the air as Willow neared the completion of the   
spell. Finally there was a crack of lightning and the lights in the   
room dimmed.  
  
Across the room, Buffy saw Angel fall to the floor. The deadites   
pulled back as if confused about the situation, allowing her a clear   
view of her former boyfriend. She saw that he was on the ground   
sobbing, and immediately ran to his side.  
  
"Angel, it's not your fault they took your soul. The important   
thing is that you help us now. Help us stop Dawn from taking over   
the world."  
  
As Angel stood up Buffy realized that he had not been sobbing- in   
fact, his sides had been shaking with barely suppressed laughter.  
  
"I can't believe it. You're almost as gullible as you are   
predictable." Angel laughed.   
  
"My new friend here-" he gestured at Dawn- "didn't set my soul free-   
she ate it. The fangless wonder is never coming back."  
  
Buffy just stared at him, shocked.  
  
"God," he smiled. "You should see the look on your face. It feels   
almost as good as this is going to."  
  
With that, Angelus drew a club from his belt and brutally cracked   
the stunned Slayer across the temples.  
  
Buffy's world went black as she fell to the floor unconscious.  
  
*****   
  
Aaaaand that's the end of part 3. I'll be working on this and   
_From Sunnydale, With Love_ in parallel now. But production on   
both will have to wait for a little while, as I have to do some   
writing for the Real World.  
  
Of course, if I get enough feedback I may have to change my mind.  
  
;-)  
  
--Randy 


	5. Chapter 4

Title: The Evil Undead (Four/Seven)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
Joyce Summers was in the zone. Concerns about her daughter's   
safety, the seemingly endless maze in which they were trapped, and   
Ash's boorish behavior had all receded to the back of her mind. She   
was entirely focused on her machete, the creature before her, and   
attempting to do as much damage as possible to the latter.  
  
Deadites usually behave in a very focused manner, intent on   
consuming the bodies and souls of their opponents. In contrast, the   
creature in front of Joyce was rolling around on the ground in   
agony, attempting to avoid the constant hail of blows that she   
rained down upon it. These attempts to dodge were largely   
unsuccessful.  
  
Joyce looked up from sawing her way through a particularly difficult   
tendon to see Ash and Andrew staring at her in horrified   
fascination. Joyce focused her attention on Ash.  
  
"A little help here?"  
  
Ash shook himself out of his reverie and fired up his chainsaw. He   
made quick work of the downed deadite. Afterwards, he couldn't   
muster his usual glib remark.  
  
"That was... disturbing."  
  
Andrew nodded his agreement.  
  
"What?" Joyce looked at them, annoyed. "You can chop them to bits   
and it's no problem, but I cut off one little piece-"  
  
"Enough!" Ash cut her off before changing the subject. "Look,   
we've been wandering around here for a while, and we still have no   
idea where we are. Maybe it's time to start thinking about getting   
out of here- I have no idea how we're going to find your daughter."  
  
"If I know one thing about Buffy, it's that she's somewhere in the   
middle of all this. If we just keep going where there are more   
deadites, we'll run into her eventually."  
  
---  
  
Xander groaned as he struggled back to consciousness with a pounding   
headache. He sat up and took a look around. It only took a few   
seconds of staring at the slaughterhouse around him to remember   
where he was.  
  
The school cafeteria. He didn't see any of the other Scoobies as he   
looked around the room. He was by himself- well, he did have his   
uncle's chainsaw.  
  
Xander tried to think back and remember what had happened. He   
remembered facing off an army of deadites, led by Angelus and Dawn.   
He remembered the spell, then the failure of the spell, then- Buffy!  
He had to find her!   
  
Gritting his teeth, Xander struggled to his feet. He realized as he   
did so that he was surprisingly undamaged- apart from the blow to   
the head that had knocked him out. When he finally reached his   
feet, Xander was startled to hear the sound of sarcastic applause   
coming from behind him.  
  
Xander spun around just in time to spot a familiar figure emerging   
from the shadows.  
  
"Angelus." Xander spat. "What have you done with Buffy?"  
  
"Me?" Angelus laughed. "I haven't done anything to your precious   
slayer. Dawn was very eager to take her sister into her tender   
care. Something about raising the armies of hell. You know how   
women are."  
  
"You just let Dawn take Buffy after you spent all year obsessing   
over her?"  
  
"Dawn said she needed her and the Necronomicon to work some kind of   
mojo with the Hellmouth. I'm never one to stand in the way of a   
little Hell on Earth."  
  
"She took the book, too? Who's calling the shots here?"  
  
A shadow of irritation crossed Angelus's face.  
  
"You should worry more about your own safety. How does it feel to   
be stuck in a room with your arch enemy?"   
  
"My what?" Xander blinked. "Sorry pal, Buffy was the one with the   
thing for you. You're just another bloodsucker to me."  
  
Xander fired up his chainsaw and spoke again.  
  
"And I figure you'll die just like any of the others."  
  
Angelus ignored this show of bravado and spoke contemplatively.  
  
"You know, I was never really a fan of magic, before. I figured   
fists and fangs were all that I needed. But that whole re-souling   
debacle really changed my perspective. And working with ancient   
spirits does have its advantages."  
  
Angelus pulled a small wand out of his back pocket. It was bone   
shaped, and had some suspicious looking liquids still clinging to   
one end. An inscription had been burned into the bone and ran the   
length of the wand.  
  
"Want to see what my new toy can do?" Angelus didn't wait for a   
response. "Imperio!"  
  
As he spoke the word, Angelus pointed the wand at Xander and   
twitched it upward.  
  
To Xander, it felt as though he had been grabbed by a giant hand.   
He lost his grip on his chainsaw with the initial impact, but that   
became the least of his worries as he felt himself flying up through   
the air.  
  
He hit the ceiling with a bone jarring impact and was pinned there   
while Angelus sauntered across the room towards him.  
  
"Yep." He grinned. "I could definitely get used to this."  
  
---  
  
"It's funny." Joyce said to herself as she walked along.  
  
"What?" Ash asked.  
  
"I was just thinking, it's a good thing the evil spirits can only   
possess humans."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, from what Buffy's told me, there are a lot nastier things   
buried under this school than some ex-students. So it's a good   
thing they can only reanimate the human corpses."  
  
As if on cue, an inhuman growl echoed down the corridor.  
  
"Why?" Ash half asked, half shouted. "Why would you say something   
like that?"  
  
Ash stepped forward as a hulking figure came around the corner   
towards them. The beast didn't seem to walk so much as it shambled.   
It stood upright like a human, but it seemed out of proportion   
somehow. Its legs were too large, and its torso was massive. And   
in place of a face it had a long snout.  
  
In addition to its strange form, it had many deformities marking its   
long stay in the grave. Half of its skin had rotted off, and the   
tendons attaching its feet to its legs were visible.  
  
"We've got enough trouble without you asking for more!"   
  
Ash commented as he swiped his chainsaw across the beast's torso.   
The creature didn't even try to dodge and simply stood there and   
absorbed the hit. Blood and gore flew as Ash gouged a six inch deep   
trench in the thing's chest. But the creature was hardly forced   
back at all, and Ash watched in horror as the rotted flesh of its   
chest knitted itself back together.  
  
"I was just trying to find the silver lining." Joyce called out   
plaintively, then started as an idea occurred to her. "Silver! That   
looks like a werewolf- maybe something silver will hurt it."  
  
Joyce started patting down her pockets, searching for anything made   
of silver.  
  
Ash, meanwhile, decided to try his usual tactic of cutting off limbs.   
But as he brought his chainsaw down in an overhead slice, the   
creature suddenly moved with preternatural quickness. It blocked his   
strike with its left arm, then sent a brutal punch in with its right.  
  
Ash was rocked by the blow, and staggered back a few steps. The   
wolf-deadite was on him before he could react and quickly trapped   
him in a crushing bear hug.  
  
Ash's chainsaw was pinned to his side, and he could do little but   
hit the creature ineffectively with his left hand as it ratcheted up   
the pressure. Ash could feel his ribs starting to buckle and had   
just about given up hope when he saw a flash of silver floating   
towards him through the air. Reaching up, he caught the object in   
his left hand and, in one smooth motion, buried it deep in the   
creature's eye.  
  
The wolf howled and dropped Ash on the floor. It staggered back,   
clawing ineffectually at its eye. Finally overcome by the power of   
the silver, it collapsed to the floor. As it died, the dissipation   
of the mystical forces powering the deadite and the forces that   
created the werewolf dissolved its body into a yellow goo.  
  
Ash stood, and turned to Andrew.  
  
"Thanks kid. I would have been screwed if you hadn't thrown me   
that- what was that, anyway?"  
  
"It was my one seventieth scale silver replica X-wing." Andrew   
stared mournfully and the puddle that was the were-beast. "I had   
to save for six months to buy it."  
  
"Well, hey, it got put to good use." Ash clasped him on the   
shoulder, then turned to Joyce. "Onward we go, then?"  
  
"No!" Andrew shouted. "You guys are nuts! I'm getting the hell   
out of here on my own."  
  
Shaking off Ash's hand, Andrew ran to one of the doors lining the   
hallway and, before anybody could stop him, opened it and stepped   
through.  
  
A few seconds later a bloodcurdling scream echoed down the hall and   
a massive splash of blood flooded out the door, staining the   
opposite wall of the hallway red. Then the door slammed shut,   
seemingly on its own.  
  
Ash met Joyce's eyes for a moment. Finally he sighed and walked   
over to the door that Andrew had disappeared through.  
  
Ash squared himself and drew his shotgun before kicking the door   
open and striding through.  
  
There was silence as Ash and the deadites within the room sized each   
other up. Ash finally broke the silence.  
  
"Look, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.   
Your choice."  
  
The deadites' response was predictable.  
  
"We're going to eat your soul!"  
  
"Right." Ash smiled as he fired up his chainsaw. "The hard way it   
is."  
  
---  
  
"So this is what it's come to. The great Angelus, Scourge of   
Europe, has to break out the magical big guns to take down an   
ordinary teenager."  
  
"Not has to." Angelus corrected Xander as he tested out the control   
of his wand. He flicked his wrist downward, sending Xander crashing   
into the ground. Angelus then lifted him back up into the air   
and swung his hand to the side, smashing Xander into the wall before   
bringing him to rest in midair in front of the vampire.  
  
"Wants to."  
  
Xander was in too much pain to muster a response, so Angelus   
continued.  
  
"It's true that I've never paid a whole lot of attention to you   
before. But you know, when you're stuck in hell for hundreds of   
years, you have a lot of time to think.  
  
"For the first century or so, I was pretty much obsessed with Buffy.   
The things I'd do to her, the ways that I would torment her. Sure,   
you were on my 'people to kill' list-"  
  
"Who isn't?" Xander wheezed.  
  
"True, it's more a philosophy than an actual list. The point is, I   
hadn't singled you out for any special treatment. Then, some time   
in the second century, the thought occurred to me: every time one of   
my plans almost worked, and I almost had Buffy broken, something   
went wrong at the last minute. And every time, there you were, with   
that same idiot look on your face.  
  
"I was pretty angry at first, and shifted my thoughts to how I could   
best torture you to death. But the anger eventually turned to   
grudging respect- I see a lot of potential in you. And besides-   
what better way to torment your soul than by defiling your body?  
  
"All of which is to say-" Angelus shifted to his game face. "That   
tonight you're going to die, Xander Harris, and then you will live   
again. And I'm going to be there."  
  
Angelus pinned Xander to the ground with his wand, and walked over   
to him. He was just about to sink his teeth into Xander's neck when   
the cafeteria doors crashed open.  
  
"Yo overbite!" Angelus looked up to find himself staring down the   
twin barrels of Ash's shotgun. "Suck on this!"  
  
Ash pulled the trigger as he finished speaking. The first shot   
caught Angelus full in the chest and sent him staggering back away   
from Xander. The second shot hit him in the arm, nearly tearing his   
hand off at the wrist and forcing him to drop his magic wand. The   
third and fourth shots were aimed at his legs and left Angelus   
curled up in a heap on the floor.  
  
Ash was moving in for the kill when his nephew called out.  
  
"Wait!" Xander spoke from where he had slumped to the floor upon   
being released from Angelus's spell.  
  
Ash stepped back as Xander staggered to his feet and limped over to   
his discarded chainsaw. Xander started it up and triggered the   
engine before walking over to the fallen vampire.  
  
Angelus was lying on the floor in terrible pain, and was barely able   
to look up to see Xander raise his chainsaw above his head.  
  
"This," Xander said as he revved the chainsaw up to full speed,   
"is for stealing my line."  
  
With that, Xander brought his chainsaw crashing down, hardly slowing   
as it cleaved through Angelus's neck and reduced the vampire to   
ashes.  
  
Xander looked at the resulting dust pile for a minute before   
spitting on it and turning to face his uncle.  
  
"I told him I'd be there."  
  
---  
  
Mmm... chainsaws.  
  
--Randy 


	6. Chapter 5

Title: The Evil Undead (Five/Seven)  
  
Author: Randall Stone  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.  
  
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than   
he ever wanted to know.  
  
Notes:  
Spoilers: S1-3  
  
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of   
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle   
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?  
  
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the   
events of The Zeppo.  
  
Category: B/X  
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
*****  
  
Xander stared at the pile of dust that was the mortal remains of the   
Scourge of Europe, contemplating. After a moment he reached a   
decision. Clearing his throat, he hawked a giant loogie onto the   
dust then, satisfied, turned to face his uncle.  
  
"Thanks for the assist, Uncle Ro- Ash." Xander nodded to the other   
figure who entered the room, then did a double take. "Miss   
Summers?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I like the new look. But what are you doing here?"  
  
Joyce glanced down at her tattered and bloodstained clothing, but   
decided to let Xander's comment pass. "I'm looking for my   
daughters."   
  
"Well, dusty over there said they were both in the library."  
  
"That's where we've been trying to go for the last hour." Joyce   
directed a glare at Ash.  
  
"Hey, don't blame him. It can be tricky trying to find your way to   
the library if you don't know the school's layout."  
  
"That's not the problem." Ash shook his head. "I memorized the way   
to the library from the map outside the school. Whatever mojo you   
guys unleashed from the Necronomicon is messing with the hallway."  
  
"Right." Xander looked at his uncle skeptically. "Well, why don't   
we just try going to the library now and see what happens?"  
  
The two adults reluctantly nodded, and followed Xander as he made   
his way to the exit from the cafeteria. When he reached the exit he   
paused and turned to face Joyce.  
  
"Miss Summers, I almost forgot, I have some bad news about Dawn..."  
  
---  
  
The sign beside the double doors was small, but the label was   
unmistakable: Sunnydale High Library.  
  
"Memorized the way, huh?" Xander asked his uncle.  
  
"I basically memorized it. Maybe not every last twist and turn."   
Ash admitted, sheepishly.  
  
Xander grinned at him, then composed his face into a more serious   
expression before he turned to face Joyce.  
  
"Are you sure you're going to be ok with this?"  
  
"I'm sure." Joyce's expression was stoic; only the lines around her   
eyes betrayed her inner turmoil over what had happened to her   
daughter. "I've had to think about something like this happening   
ever since I found out about vampires. It's a terrible thing- but I   
have to put her body to rest before I can grieve."  
  
"OK." Xander couldn't think of any further comforting words, so he   
turned to action. "Let's get this show on the road."  
  
Xander stepped forward with Ash at his side. At Xander's signal, they   
both kicked out simultaneously, sending the doors crashing open.  
  
Xander stepped forward confidently.  
  
"Honey, I'm home!"  
  
Xander was taking in the situation in the library as he spoke. The   
first thing he noticed was that all of the deadites that they had   
been fighting before were milling around the lower area of the   
library. The only ones showing any purpose were the four deadites   
standing guard in front of the book cage, which currently held   
Giles, Willow, and Oz.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
The voice drew Xander's attention to the upper level where he saw   
Dawn, or the creature that had once been Dawn, looking down on them.   
Behind her he could just make out a table to which Buffy had been   
secured. There were no deadites visible on the upper level;   
apparently they found Dawn more intimidating than their prisoners.   
Xander was just taking note of the book tucked under Dawn's arm when   
she continued speaking.  
  
"And here I thought it was someone I should be worried about.   
Buffy's not going to bail you out of this one, Xand. Kill them!"  
  
This last command galvanized the deadites into action. They moved   
to form a loose semicircle around Xander, Ash, and Joyce. The   
deadites paused about ten feet away from the trio, perhaps wary   
after the carnage in the cafeteria. As the two sides were sizing   
each other up, Xander leaned over to whisper to Ash.  
  
"You and Joyce go spring the wolf, the witch, and the librarian.   
I'm going to try to break through. If all goes well I'll save Buffy   
and get ahold of the book."  
  
"And if it doesn't?"  
  
"Well, it's not like we can get any more screwed, is it?"  
  
Ash had hardly had time to acknowledge the wisdom of Xander's point   
before he put his plan in to motion. Revving his chainsaw to full   
speed, Xander charged forward with a savage war cry.  
  
While the deadites greatly outnumbered the humans, they had spread   
themselves out in order to hem the humans in. The semicircle that   
they had formed did cut off any hope of escape, but it was only two   
deadites deep.  
  
Xander didn't even try to dodge the deadites, instead chosing to   
confront them straight on. He cut the first deadite down easily,   
plunging his chainsaw deep into its chest. He dragged the blade out   
through the creature's body as it fell to the ground, never breaking   
stride.  
  
The second deadite had no desire to be cut in half and stepped aside   
while it took a swipe at Xander as he passed. Xander reacted   
quickly and raised his chainsaw up into a defensive position,   
lopping off the creature's arm as he passed it and broke into the   
clear.  
  
Ash grinned as he watched his nephew run up the stairs. Directing   
his attention to the regrouping deadites, he adopted a   
conversational tone.  
  
"Regular chip off the old block, isn't he? I taught him everything   
he knows. Of course," Ash pulled a spare machete from his leg   
sheathe as the idling engine of his chainsaw provided a counterpoint   
to his words, "I haven't gotten around to teaching him the dirty   
tricks yet."  
  
---  
  
Xander pounded up the stairs as if the hounds of hell were on his   
tail. When he reached the top of the staircase, he saw that Dawn   
was crouched over Buffy's bound form. As he drew nearer he saw that   
she was finger painting some kind of occult symbols on her sister's   
arm. He wasn't sure what she was using to paint with, but the   
substance looked suspiciously like human blood.  
  
Xander raised his chainsaw over his head as he ran, hoping to finish   
Dawn off with one blow. Just as he drew near enough to strike,   
however, Dawn threw up her left hand. Xander was thrown backwards   
as if he had been hit by an invisible car. He landed flat on his   
ass about ten feet away. Dawn finished her writing and turned to   
face him.  
  
"Did you really think such a mundane weapon could hurt me?"  
  
"You know me better than that, Dawn. I don't think. I was just   
going to carve me up some demon."  
  
Xander jumped to his feet as he finished speaking and charged   
towards Dawn once again. His attack was brought up short when he   
crashed into an invisible barrier three feet in front of Dawn.  
  
"Give it up Xander. You're way out of your league."  
  
---  
  
"A little help here?"   
  
Joyce gritted her teeth as she dug deep into her reserves. She was   
guarding Ash's back while he took on the guards set over the   
imprisoned Scoobies. As part of said guarding, she had impaled a   
deadite in the stomach with her machete. That deadite was now   
straining against her as she used the knife to keep it at arm's   
length while she dodged its blows as best she could.  
  
Ash was involved in a fight with two deadites when he heard Joyce's   
request for help, and he responded in the only way that he could.   
Flinging his machete into the neck of the opponent on his left, he   
fended the other one off with his chainsaw while he drew his shotgun   
with his left hand. He braced the shotgun on his shoulder and fired   
backwards.   
  
Joyce was left holding a bloody machete in her hands as the deadite   
was sent flying backwards. Ash didn't even look back as he holstered   
his shotgun and redirected his attention to the opponents in front of   
him.   
  
"Could you warn me the next time you're going to pull a stunt like   
that? I think you damaged my eardrums."  
  
"Look princess, you're going to have to decide," Ash grunted as he   
cleaved through one of the guards, "whether you want to have me save   
your ass, or you want to tell me how to do it."  
  
Ash decapitated the final guard as he finished speaking, leaving him   
with a clear path to the book cage. He strode forward and came face   
to face with a worried Rupert Giles.  
  
"Mr. Williams! What a relief to see you. The keys are-"  
  
Giles was interrupted by the scream of metal on metal as Ash brought   
his chainsaw down through the locking mechanism. The librarian   
continued as the door swung open.  
  
"- quite unnecessary, of course. I'm afraid that the creature that   
has inhabited Dawn's body has some terrible plans involving the   
Hellmouth. It is imperative that we stop her before-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, that's great. You want to get out here and give me a   
hand?"  
  
Giles glanced at the approaching mob of deadites and nodded before   
quickly making his way to the weapons chest. He withdrew a battle   
axe for Oz and a crossbow for Willow. Oz accepted his weapon with a   
stoic expression, while Willow eyed the crossbow with some   
trepidation.  
  
With the children armed, Giles drew his personal weapon from the   
chest. The sabre's blade gleamed from constant tender care, while   
the light shined off the gold monogram on the hilt as Giles moved to   
stand beside Ash and face the oncoming demons.  
  
"Nice sword. You know to use that thing?"  
  
"I was Oxford's representative at the fencing championships for   
three years running."  
  
"Well listen to Mr. Fancypants. This isn't a game out here, pal,   
and these things-"  
  
Ash stopped speaking when he saw Giles engage his first deadite.   
The Englishman neatly blocked the creature's assault with the flat   
of his blade and slashed across its face in one smooth motion,   
cutting straight through its eyes. While the deadite was still   
recoiling from this first blow, Giles neatly reversed his momentum   
and sliced back across, severing the thing's head at the neck.   
With the creature disabled, Giles set about the grim task of   
dismembering the thing with a cool efficiency.  
  
"Right. I'll just leave you to that then."  
  
---  
  
"I guess you're right. There's no way I can take you on."   
  
Xander's shoulders slumped in defeat as a downcast expression   
settled on his face.  
  
"Aww, you're so cute when you've given up hope." Dawn's tone turned   
affectionate.  
  
Xander looked up in surprise.  
  
"Please, don't try to pretend you didn't know that Dawn had a crush   
on you. Some of it must have transferred over to me." She eyed   
Xander's body appreciatively. "And when my masters are running this   
place, I'm going to need a consort. What do you say?"  
  
"I'd say eww. Come on, you're still in the body of a thirteen year   
old girl." Xander was shocked out of his funk by her suggestion.   
"That's about four years too young for me, kid."  
  
"Kid? We'll see how young you look after your second millenia. In   
any event," Dawn smiled wickedly, "the problems with this body are   
easy enough to remedy."  
  
Dawn flipped the Necronomicon open and began to speak in an inhuman   
language. A glow began to surround her body while she incanted. As   
the spell went on the glow lengthened and seemed to stretch her   
body. As her body grew her face began to mature and the rest of her   
began to fill out. When the spell drew to a close Dawn was left   
standing before Xander looking every inch the seventeen year old.  
  
"Impressive." Xander raised his eyebrow appreciatively. "This   
consort thing is starting to look like a pretty good deal."  
  
"You would abandon your friends so easily?" Dawn was surprised.  
  
"Hey, we've already established that I can't do anything to stop   
you. The way I see it, it's better to serve in hell than to be   
tormented in hell for all eternity."  
  
---  
  
Giles dispatched the latest deadite and looked around the library in   
dismay. While he and Ash were dismembering the creatures left and   
right, and Oz and Joyce had formed an effective deadite destroying   
team, the demons just kept on coming. He knew that there hadn't   
been *that* many of them in the library to begin with.  
  
Surveying the battlefield, Giles noticed a strange fact. Several of   
the deadites were not fighting. In fact, they were deliberately   
avoiding Ash's attempts to engage them as they scurried around the   
battlefield, collecting the dismembered pieces of their fallen   
comrades. Giles watched as they gathered up the pieces and made   
their way back to a figure at the rear of the library who appeared   
to be wielding a needle and thread.  
  
Giles started as he recognized Mrs. Cutchens, the home economics   
teacher. Of course! He should have remembered that she was the   
only faculty member who regularly stayed at the school as late as he   
did. As Giles watched, she finished with her stitching. The body   
that she had been working on rose, a hideous patchwork of corpse   
remnants, and staggered forward with unnatural vitality to attack   
the Scoobies.  
  
Giles's attention was diverted to a matter closer at hand when a   
deadite tried to slip past him to blindside Ash. Giles managed to   
defeat the creature, but couldn't avoid taking a nasty gash to his   
left arm. Turning to face over his shoulder, he called out to   
Willow. She had been standing back from the fight, as her crossbow   
was largely ineffective against the deadites.  
  
"Willow! Mrs. Cutchens is stitching them back together as quickly   
as we cut them apart. You need to figure out a way to take her out   
before we're overwhelmed."  
  
Struck by an idea, Willow quickly rummaged through the weapons   
chest. After finding her prize she called out to Giles.  
  
"I found one of my balloon bombs. I only have one though."  
  
"Well, you better not bloody miss then!"  
  
Giles shouted this last comment between strikes against his latest   
opponent.  
  
Willow looked down at the missile in her hand, and then tried to   
gauge the distance to the zombie teacher. It was awfully far. She   
decided to use a little magic to help her odds. Willow quickly   
fished her nail polish out of her purse and sketched a glyph on the   
nose of the balloon, incanting as she drew.  
  
"Mother Gaia, rouse your ire  
And grant me now my heart's desire  
Our need is great, our peril dire  
So help me set this bitch on fire"  
  
With the prayer completed, Willow hefted the balloon in her hand and   
threw it in the general direction of the home ec teacher. As it   
happened, she had applied too much force to her throw. But just as   
the balloon was about to overshoot the target a sudden gust of wind   
knocked it down, dropping it directly onto the head of Mrs.   
Cutchens. The balloon burst and spread its flammable contents as   
the detonator went off according to design. Mrs. Cutchens was   
covered in a searing fire which soon spread to the creature that she   
had been stitching up.  
  
While Willow watched the fire with some satisfaction, Oz drifted   
back from the front line.  
  
"Potty mouth." He chided her.  
  
Willow shrugged.  
  
"The Goddess is more of a stickler for cadence than for G rated   
language."  
  
---  
  
"I knew you'd see things my way." Dawn leered. "I just didn't   
think it would be this easy."  
  
She took a step closer to Xander, entering into his personal space.   
She didn't waste any time reaching behind Xander and grabbing his   
ass with her left hand. At the same time she brought her right   
hand, still holding the Necronomicon, up to caress Xander's face.  
  
As her right hand approached him, Xander exploded into action. His   
chainsaw, which had been idling the whole time, roared to full speed   
as he slashed it across his body. Dawn's hand was severed at the   
wrist before she had a chance to react.  
  
Xander caught the book, with Dawn's hand was still clinging to the   
cover, and took a step back. He turned and flung the book, hand and   
all, in the general direction of the Scoobies. That mission   
accomplished, he turned back to confront the demon inhabiting the   
body of his friend's sister.  
  
Dawn, having been deprived of her magical weapon, was forced to   
resort to guile.  
  
"Xander, how can you kill me? You've been walking me to school for   
years."  
  
Xander shook his head.  
  
"I know that Dawn is already dead. It's time to put her body to   
rest."  
  
---  
  
Willow had been the only member of the group that had been watching   
Xander and Dawn's confrontation. Accordingly, she was the one who   
managed to catch the flying Necronomicon. As she did so, the hand   
that had been clinging to the book suddenly lunged at her.  
  
Willow managed to emit a frightened squeak before the fingers   
reached her throat. She focused all her energy on grabbing the hand   
by the wrist and holding it far enough away from her that she could   
breathe. She had almost managed to pull the hand completely off of   
her when a dagger suddenly appeared in her vision, impaling the hand   
in its center. Willow looked up to see the grizzled visage of   
Xander's uncle.  
  
"You have to be careful with these things." Ash waved the wiggling   
appendage around to illustrate his point. "They'll get you in all   
kinds of trouble."  
  
With that, Ash drove his dagger into a nearby wall, pinning the hand  
down.  
  
---  
  
Meanwhile, on the upper level, Xander had finished his grim task of   
separating Dawn's body into his component pieces. When the   
dismemberment was complete Xander could here a collective thud as   
the deadites fell to the ground.  
  
Xander was staring at Dawn's remains, grieving, when they suddenly   
disappeared in a green flash.  
  
Xander scratched his head, puzzled, then spotted Giles on the lower   
level of the library.  
  
"Hey! G-man! What are we doing in the library?"  
  
"I'm not sure..." Giles said uncertainly, then started as he   
recognized the book in Willow's hands. "The Necronomicon! The   
spirits were unleashed, but you defeated their leader!"  
  
"What I want to know is, is my daughter ok?" Joyce asked.  
  
"She should be fine. When Xander killed their leader, the spirits   
must have retreated in disarray."  
  
A crashing noise from up above belied Giles's words. As the   
Scoobies watched in horrified fascination, Buffy's body tore through   
the straps that had bound her to the table and levitated several   
feet above the ground. Simultaneously, the bodies of the deadites   
scattered throughout the library began to reassemble themselves,   
compelled by some unseen power.  
  
The humans in the room were still stunned into silence when the   
voice of the vampire slayer echoed through the room.  
  
"I'm afraid things aren't going to be so simple."  
  
* * *   
  
Finally, chapter five is complete. The wait for chapter six   
shouldn't be *quite* as long.  
  
--Randy 


End file.
